Reclaiming Value

Today CNN Health reported, “Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence Can Damage Long-Term Mental Health”. No Shit Sherlock. Does that finding surprise anyone?

Yet it’s so common for people to say to the victim, “Why can’t you move on? Be happy.”

Well, one reason why is … the victim hasn’t found peace with being attacked. They need to reclaim their value.

You see most attackers kill the spirit of their victim, hence leaving them in a state of purgatory, feeling numb, lost, worthless. Not quite whole.

That’s how I felt after being attacked.

I wanted my life back, as it was earlier in the day before being attacked. But that’s impossible, and I found it equally impossible to accept my new identity, a victim.

But how does one move forward beyond victimhood? It takes one step at a time.

If you can relate to my story, please know you are not alone. In that simple reality, have comfort. I understand your pain.

I also know the challenges of creating a peaceful and powerful new life, and I happily say that it can be done. Plus, when you succeed at letting go of all the shit that someone else forced you to carry, you’ll know that life is amazingly beautiful, like a butterfly.

Don’t give up on your life. It’s never too late to discover who you were meant to be.

2 thoughts on “Reclaiming Value

  • Annemarie, I read your story in Toastmasters’ Magazine. I, too, chose Toastmasters as that first safe place to recover my voice. I was tormented by the trauma of years of childhood domestic violence growing up. I managed to create a facade of “OK”ness, yet was always on the lookout for the next distrustworthy person. I didn’t even know I didn’t trust people, the mindset had become so habitual. And I was ashamed, as though this first 20 years of my life were somehow my fault. Only now am I moving on, and it isn’t easy. As a beginning Toastmaster I thought I would faint each time I stood before people as myself. Now I relish it. I’m still working on figuring out who I am, and, as you say, staying positive. I enjoy especially reading about your marriage of business and corporate responsibility specialization. Should you have a moment, I would love to hear how you became involved in corporate responsibility work and how it dovetails with your ability as a writer. Keep on moving forward! Also love the post on Betty Ford. She was a brave woman. Marcy

  • Hello Marcy,
    Congratulations on surviving and thriving and on working to create a positive life.
    No need to be ashamed, and didn’t it feel great discovering that truth and letting go of that shame?!?! It’s a true life changer.

    Toastmaster’s has been priceless for me, though getting started was a nail-biting experience.
    However telling my story to my club, Mitsubishi Motors Mouths, was even more daunting. Like you, I nearly fainted.
    Yet my club is so supportive. They gave me the courage to share my story on a public speaking platform.
    Because of them in 2011 I became a motivational speaker, and the audience response is heartwarming, just like your note.
    Thank you for reaching out to me, for sharing your story, and for your kind words. You made my day.

    Regarding being a Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) specialist, that role began while working for Disney. I worked for their pro-sports teams, the Anaheim Angels baseball team and the Mighty Ducks hockey team. Both teams are very community minded, and I secured corporate sponsorships for them. Some of my clients engaged with CSR and asked how they could incorporate their efforts through the teams. That’s how it got started.

    Marcy, thanks again for your kind words and support. It meant the world to me. Cheers to you and to a wonderful 2012.
    Peace to you at all times in all ways.